[✍] The Art Of Getting Bad Karma, or Mercury Phones Personally

Maybe there is something wrong with my postal karma. Maybe I messed up a couple of letters in my past life, I don’t know. There is no other plausible explanation why Amazon.co.uk has just screwed up my order.

I have ordered 3 items (CDs) on March 7, 2018. Mercury was direct, and nothing should possibly go wrong.

But it did.

A part (!) of the order was dispatched on March 12 via DHL.

We thought you’d like to know that we’ve dispatched this portion of your order separately to give you a quicker service, at no additional cost to you. “

And they told me the estimated arrival time was March 21. Well, that was good news… but things soon went awry.

Just a bit of astrology here: on March 12 (the date of dispatching the order), Mercury was in pre-shadow (i.e. going to turn retrograde on March 22).


On March 21 the messenger planet became stationary, and I received the following email from Amazon.co.uk:

We’re sorry to tell you that there may be a delay in delivering your order. Please allow an additional day or two for the parcel to arrive.”

At the moment, I was busy writing an article for a scientific conference so I didn’t mind waiting a couple of days, despite the fact that the CDs I ordered were related to my article (and I thought of using some audio fragments in my presentation).

Then on March 22 I received an update that sounded weird:

We received an update regarding your order #204-9515335-3146759.
The shipment is undelliverable due to incorrect address and it is not possible to release it from customs.
Warmest regards,
Garima J”

(Also the same message from Jeya Kumar R.)

OK I contacted them immediately to tell that my address was perfectly fine, I had been using it for decades to receive things from abroad, and I also provided an additional phone number.

The reply was:

“To serve you at my best and help remedy this situation, I have personally contacted the DHL carrier and have asked them to deliver the parcel as soon as possible to your below mentioned address.
Warmest regards,

I returned to my article, thinking everything was fine now, but on March 28 the items for some unknown reason were sent back by DHL to Amazon.co.uk. I found out about it when I checked the status of my shipment online.

Clearly, I immediately wrote to Amazon.co.uk and asked what happened, and the reply was:

“It´s because the parcel was damaged by carrier in transit and as per Amazon policy carrier can’t deliver the damaged parcel to the customer.
I completely understand what you must be thinking as we should inform you about you this earlier. But unfortunately we don’t know until or unless carrier informed us regarding the parcel damaged by them in transit.
Warmest regards,

OK. I thought I was fed up with so many versions, so I called the DHL and they told me another story. Which I couldn’t resist to share with Amazon.co.uk:

I have just contacted the local DHL representative about my undelivered order. Their story differs from yours:
1) they originally contacted you for my telephone number (which I provided the next day in my original enquiry), and
2) in reply they received your request to return the item.
They deny the package was damaged. They also deny that they had received the info which your representative should send to them.
So it is your fault that the item was not delivered.

Their reply came after some time saying:

“Upon reviewing your email, I understand that you’ve contacted the carrier ‘DHL’ however they’ve denied that your order#204-9515335-3146759 wasn’t damaged and previous associate informed you that it was damaged that is the reason you haven’t received it.
I’ve checked your order details and can see that your order was in transit with carrier however your order wasn’t scanned and the previous associate assumed that your order was damaged in the transit that is the reason it is returning to seller and you haven’t received it.
Warmest regards,

WASN’T SCANNED. WTH should I make of it?

So, several different stories, most of them lies. Just to sum up:

  1. “to give you a quicker service”
  2. “there may be a delay in delivering your order”
  3. “undelliverable due to incorrect address and it is not possible to release it from customs”
  4. “I have personally contacted the DHL carrier and have asked them to deliver the parcel as soon as possible”
  5. “the parcel was damaged by carrier in transit”
  6. “your order wasn’t scanned and the previous associate assumed that your order was damaged”

So typical for Mercury in a retrograde phase. Also, all these guys and gals are getting bad postal karma ASSUMING THINGS instead of f***ing checking them.

P.S. Now let’s see what happens to the other “portion” of the order which is, incidentally, called “Blow It”.

Steve Peregrin Took “Blow It” (2004)

This post is also available in: Russian

Leave a comment

Leave a Reply